To tell you the truth, I completely let myself go this year. I think that I’m going to fail a few classes. My math class is scaring me to tears, and I’m worried for Biology as well. My friends will be disappointed in me if I have to take a different summer school class to catch up instead of get ahead. My parents will also be pretty mad as well. I’m studying right now, so hopefully I’ll do a good job on my finals tomorrow.
Other than schoolwork, I think things are going fine. I’m still grounded as heck, but it’s not so bad. Actually, I’m learning a lot of new songs on piano, and I have more time to spend with my family. Sometimes everyone leaves me at home and things can get boring, but mostly, I find things to do.
Nothing romantic’s going on. Daniel’s on my mind, but I still feel bad about Trey leaving. It’s kind of funny, but when I have both of them in the same room, I’d much rather talk to Daniel than Trey any day. I think he’s just easier to get to know. On the bus this morning it occurred to me that maybe I don’t even really like Trey at all. When I think about Trey in my head I picture the same scene over and over again. In the scene he’s driving me home, and then later on that night he picks me up and we run away together for no reason. However, when I see him in real life, he’s not even the same person. I’ve always made him out to be someone similar to Noah from The Notebook, or a Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. But he’s not.
Daniel is much more down to earth. I think this is mostly because I got to know him before I began to like him. When I make up little scenarios in my head, he’s always the same. My whole romantic life, men have always been sort of uneasy around me. They get all awkward and lanky, and things always go downhill. What if this time things were different? What if we became really good friends before making any romantic moves? It seems like it’d be for the better.
I’m hoping to get a chance to figure out how Daniel feels for me this Tuesday. He’s going with us to a “Worship Under The Stars” things. (W.U.T.S) We’ll be spending some time together late at night in this park. Doesn’t it sounds romantic? Lanterns. The faint aroma of food and flowers mixed together. Music. It would be AWESOME if I could get him alone for a while. Since Lencha’s coming with me and she doesn’t know anyone, that probably won’t be happening. But you know, Lencha’s pretty smart when it comes to sensing “the spark.” I bet you a quarter she finds some excuse and abandons Daniel and I together off in some corner.
Okay, another concern. All my friends are getting their permits. I’m way older than most of them, and I still haven’t learned to drive. These last few years they’ve done so much for me, and I haven’t given them anything in return. Sure, I know friendship is supposed to come with no strings attached, but still. After so long I feel in dept to them. I figured that when I got my own car and learned to drive, I’d give them rides everywhere. It’s so stressful thinking that maybe they’ll learn before I do. Then what? What do I do? The only thing I can think of is wait until they need me.
Ugh, there goes a chunk of time I could have used to finish an essay.
See you ’round invisible readers. I’ll keep you posted.
